Okay, folks, I’m gonna vent, so fasten your seatbelts. It’s been a long hard day….
I’ve been a little grouchy at work lately, and I’d love to tell some of my co-workers exactly why my fuse is so short. While my boss is cool and understands my ups and downs, some of my co-workers are less understanding. I could tell my co-workers how I really feel, I’d be tempted to use language I think they’d more easily understand:
Have you ever had cramps?
Try having them wrapped around one side of your face and down your back — for the past 14 months.
Have you ever had a hangover?
Try having one every Wednesday morning — without having any fun the night before.
Have you ever smashed a knuckle against a doorframe?
Try having that pain in your hand every time you click the mouse or pick something up -– knowing that you have to work on the computer all day, and when you’re not, you’re packing or unpacking boxes of books.
Have you ever dropped something heavy on your foot?
Try having that feeling in your foot every time you put weight on your big toe – if it were you, you’d trade in your stylish high-heel pumps for Birkenstocks in a skinny minute, too, honey.
Have you ever had a mouth ulcer?
Try having one on the side of your tongue for weeks at a time — so that every time you chew, swallow, or speak, the ulcer scraps against a tooth.
Have you ever had a cold or a sinus infection that just wouldn’t go away?
Try having one all the time because you’ve chosen to cripple your immune system rather than let your immune system cripple you.
Have you ever been reluctant to be seen without makeup?
Try waking up two or three days out of seven with your eyes so red and your skin so tender than you can’t even think about putting on mascara, much less “the works”. And stop freaking out that I’ll give you or your precious kid pink eye. I’m not contagious.
Have you ever obsessed over that extra pound or two?
Try getting used to a 30-pound weight gain you can’t control with diet and exercise — and it’s gonna keep going up a pound or two every month, whether you work at it or not.
Have you ever had a bad night’s sleep because you just couldn’t get comfortable?
You’ve just described every night of my life. I’m 41, and I feel 85.
And you wonder how I got up on the wrong side of the bed.